Not ready

Guess that I am not ready to face it. I still get the cold rush today. Happen to saw her twice.

why why why?

I want to go speak to her but I can't, afraid that I will irritate her again. Seeing her so happy with her friends, I am sort of relieved.

Now all that is left is to slowly hide my existence for now. Things are becoming more and more dangerous, she would be safe though since now she doesn't hold it anymore.

Best wishes..

trembling

I just got my heart back yesterday. I've never felt such cold rush before, it made me tremble for a long long period of time. She told me that she was happy when she saw me, I was really happy too.

I still did not manage to ask about her, I am worried about her wound, her condition and the situation she is in.

Yesterday was our important day but I have failed to hold us together and we fell a month before that day. I have always been looking forward to the day 21st of June and now it's the past, at least I get to see her on that day.

I don't know.

I am forcing myself to leave you alone and let all you thoughts be there and I don't want to make it clear or whatsoever. It would be better this way, this way you won't be sad anymore.

Hope nothing goes wrong this time. Think of me as anything you want but it alright. You will not be sad and forget about me.

unfulfilled

I just wanted to have a normal conversation with her but I don't think it's possible already.
I've missed the last chance and I am going, sooner than I thought.
Everything is fine I guess, wish her well for her school work and life.

Good bye my friends, it has been a great time being with you guys and thank you for giving me love =D

letting go

Since it was her final decision, I think I shall not continue hanging onto her already.

I told her not consider everything I tell her about my condition as crap and rubbish.
she will be safer this way too.

I feel so sad when I want to let go, guess I should stop worrying already. You can take care of herself now, there are still friends with her and keeping her company. To me you are the perfect person and I didn't cherish you, I don't deserve you anymore. I have hurt you too much. I won't be woo-ing you back.

For this 2 months you gave me, I am extremely grateful and I will live well and enjoy this time. Everything is fine now, I will not irritate you anymore. Slowly stepping out of your life.

I love you, my girl.

With tears.

missing

wondering around aimlessly.

I want to hug you so tightly like how we were before but I can't do it already.
I am still deeply in love with you, wondering if we can ever be together again.

I want to let go of you but I am afraid that you will get cheated and play with again. I don't wan you to get hurt from being cheated again. I may be wrong. But I will always stay by your side no matter what happen and will be with you whenever you need me. I am always a phone call away.

There is no way for me to know how you are from now on so I cannot protect you like how I use to. Recently I am just getting over jealous with the amount of contact you have with him but it is all alright already. I really miss all those time, I want to be with you till we are old.

I am too over protective and I know it, I should learn to not over worry too much. If I can live on normally, I am grateful to you and in your debt. Thank you for letting me live through the time of happiness.

With loves, always.

boring holidays

this holiday really sucks.
so bored with no work and money.
not much time to work also le
can only get those temporally jobs.
lucky still got next 2 days of catering and F1 catering so think can survive till pay comes in ba
so much things happened with bad overpowering the bad
really hope everything will get well
its really hard to see everyone like that
where I can't do anything to help.

for the past weeks have been going out and spending money like water
have to stay home for the rest off my holidays le
still got chalet need to pay

so sorry love have to make you stay home with me
don think too much, I will always love you de =)